Log in

30 April 2007 @ 11:02 am
the past still haunts you.  
What a day.

After unexpectedly extracting Noah Hicks, her ex from the past, Sydney was bombarded with tons of feelings that she doesn't know what to make of. It had been so long since she'd seen him, and they hadn't exactly ended on a good note, either.

Sighing, Sydney walked into the warehouse, already able to see Vaughn there waiting for her.

She knew that he'd probably ask about Noah, and honestly, Sydney wasn't sure how she would answer. They had a history together, yes, but Vaughn was the man Sydney was hoping she'd ALSO have a history with.

Why does it have to be so complicated? She only wished she knew the answer.

((go ahead love))
vaughnincognito on May 1st, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
Vaughn would be flat out lying if he said he didn't hold at least a hint of apprehension and a hell of alot of guilt.

He didn't know what was fueling him that night, most likely testosterone and jealousy. But to tell the truth, it also made him feel a tiny bit better, it had rebuilt his ego, and most of all, provided relief. He still had the marks of Alice's fingernails on his back, where they had held on for dear life when he had slammed into her against the wall. It was rougher, faster, more controlling than they had ever done. But oddly enough, in truth, it was comfort sex. To make her feel something other than grief for her father, and for him, to forget about Syd, who was revisiting her past in ways he refused to think about. Vaughn had more than an inkling of what had happened, but in truth, didn't want to know and resolved not to ask too much into it. He knew that this latest incident would tear her apart, but he had his limits. He was willing to be the shoulder to cry on, but he was not going to advocate another man's merits to her.

And damn, he didn't even want to think about how this was tearing Sydney up. To love, or god knows what, and then have them betray you and unwittingly kill them? That was taking emotional trauma to a whole new level. And he finally thought Syd and he were getting somewhere... However, the light tap of her footsteps shook him from his thoughts.

Pulling open the door, he offered a small smile that resembled a grimace.

"Hey, Syd." He looked down at his shoes and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Uh, I heard, I'm sorry. Really."
sydney a. bristow: madseason_20undercover_syd on May 1st, 2007 03:58 am (UTC)

Giving him a small smile, she let out a sigh, speaking enough for the both of them.

After a few seconds, her voice broke through the silence, catching him off guard, she thought.


That was the only word spoken to him for a while; she just didn't know what else to say. What 'could' she say?

The silence hung between them and suddenly, Sydney realized that this was really the only awkward situation they'd ever been in together. And she didn't like it one bit.

"Look..I'm fine. Really. Don't worry about me, okay?" she said with a reassuring smile, hoping that it convinced him..at least for now.

vaughnincognito on May 2nd, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
Vaughn looked at Syd doubtfully, eyebrows raised. He knew that stride, it was her determined/angry/betrayed stride. The stride she walked into the CIA that fateful day with. Nor did he miss the bruised and bloody knuckles. It took more than a couple of controlled punches to do that. She was far from fine. And whatever relationship they had, well, though it was probably a good thing, it took a huge step back. But there was a difference between Noah and him. He just didn't know if Syd would recognize that, he couldn't blame her if she didn't.

Taking down the giant map of SD-6 he had shown her for what seemed like an eon ago to convince her to play by his rules, he sighed. He knew better than to press, but he wasn't going to let her walk out without at least a small amount of comfort.

He looked into her suspiciously moist eyes for a moment before unrolling the large sheet.

"This is the world of SD-6 when we started. Remember?" He said softly, frowning. She nodded dumbly, and he continued. Flipping a transparent sheet over, it was covered in red slashes.

"And here is what it looks like today. And this doesn't even take into account things like Badenweiler or stealing page forty-seven from Sloane's vault. Or the way you kept Khasinau from getting his hands on that ampule. Sydney, these are incredible accomplishments." Vaughn searched for her eyes. Sometimes, he wondered if she realized how good she was at this game, even if she didn't want to be.
sydney a. bristow: me 3.undercover_syd on May 7th, 2007 02:51 pm (UTC)
Sydney sighed. She knew that they were big accomplishments, but for some reason, that fact wasn't helping her to feel any more at ease right now.

"Vaughn, I don't know if I can do this." She paused, searching his face for any sign of emotion.

"Never knowing who to trust, learning to expect betrayal. It's becoming a part of me. It's eating away at me inside. I am becoming what I despise."

A single tear falls down her cheek and onto her lips. What if she really couldn't do it? What if everything they have been fighting for is all for a lost cause?

Impossible wasn't usually a word she used or liked, but in this case, she was almost tempted to use it.

Looking up at Vaughn, she tried desperately to hold back unshed tears that she knew would come anyway.

Her eyes wandered away from his face and over to the map that was now lying on the table. Seeing all of the red slashes, she got a sudden rush of pride.

I did those. I made them appear.

Returning her eyes back to his, she forced a smile.
vaughnincognito on May 10th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
Vaughn wondered when living the life of a spy novel stopped being. Was it on the deep cover assignment in India? No, it was hard and stressful, but he still got a rush out of it. But it had stopped, seeing the defeated look on her face, he didn't really know what to say at all.

"You're not. Because you're Sydney, and that changes everything." He said, hoping his own uncertaintity wasn't showing in his voice. In a way, it did change everything. When Syd killed, it was for the greater good, as twisted as that logic sounded.

"Syd. You've either slowed down or stopped so many of the people that could possibly bring an end to liberty, or the modicum we have left of it. And if they're still out there, you'll find a way to stop them."

Vaughn was almost shocked at his own pep talk, he wasn't normally one to even attempt them, as they usually turned out sounding incredibly contrived.

sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on May 12th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)
You're not. Because you're Sydney, and that changes everything.

A smile came across her lips as she cast her face downwards.

Syd. You've either slowed down or stopped so many of the people that could possibly bring an end to liberty, or the modicum we have left of it. And if they're still out there, you'll find a way to stop them.

Finding his eyes again, she took a deep breath, knowing that the words he spoke were the truth.

"Vaughn..." she paused, not sure of exactly what to say.

"Thank you. It means a lot that I always have someone looking out for me; someone to remind me of what the reason we're fighting for is."

Pausing again, she could feel the all too familiar sense of warmth rising into her cheeks.

"And I'm so happy that that person is you."

An ear to ear smile was shown immediately after she saw a smile on his face.

vaughnincognito on May 20th, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
Vaughn immedietly began feeling uncomfortable. Not only could they NOT do this, Repeat that, you fool, you can't do this, but he did not do well with these moments. He generally just did these things and left them unsaid, that was the way between and Sydney and he.

He smiled at her briefly, before looking at a spot on the floor past her. "Yeah, me too."

He caught her eye then and they stared for a moment, before he had the presence of mind to break it. And he knew that she truly meant it. Every word.

"Syd, someday." He ended, his brow creasing. Someday after Noah, after Alice, after SD-6 and the CIA. With that, he gave her one last look and walked off, he couldn't handle anymore. Despite everything his emotions said to the contrary, the rational part of his brains couldn't help questioning her. Noah. Damn that name. What had gone on between them? He had a feeling he already knew, and the bile it brought to his throat was strong enough that he didn't want to stick around to find out.

It was best that he went now, before he said anything stupid. He was in love with a woman he couldn't have, said woman risked her very life everyday, and all he could do was try to make it a little bit better. And that included not screwing with her life any further by telling her how he felt about her. As if that wasn't already plain enough to her already.
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on May 21st, 2007 02:18 am (UTC)
((aw, i really liked that, heh lol))

where to now? would you like to post? ((when you have free time, of course :D))