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13 April 2007 @ 06:27 pm
When I Fall in Love  
Michael Vaughn pulled up to their now familiar self-storage, his emotions pulled in a thousand different directions. Relief, pain, regret, love (he still had no idea what to do with that one), concern; generally, all the reactions inspired whenever he saw Sydney Bristow, with varying degrees of intensity.

On top of his entirely conflicted feelings about Syd since the heartwrenching afternoon and evening of the day before yesterday, Alice's father has passed during the Syd crisis. The funeral was in three days. And Alice was an emotional wreck, and he automatically felt compelled to help her. You self-destructive idiot. You have just decided that you love Syd, and yet you're spending your time with Alice in your arms. One voice argued. Her father just died! You needed someone to be there for you, and there was no one! To abandon her would be far worse, as it would be completely and horrifically selfish. His thoughts were broken as he cut the ignition, looked around, and stepped out.

The moon was cloaked by a thin cloud cover as he walked in. He had been asleep, or at least trying to sleep when she called. 12:45. The minute he heard her voice, he was wide awake. He had wanted to contact her, but he figured she needed time, she had driven her car into the fucking ocean, not to mention the cloud of suspicion surrounding them. That didn't mean that she had left his thoughts, not in the least. In fact, the exact opposite, she was all he could think about. In less than five minutes, he was driving down the road.

He caught a glimpse of her as he approached their cage, and took a deep breath. Opening the door, he suddenly couldn't control his response. Wrapping his arms around her in a bone-crushing embrace, he buried his head in her shoulder and neck. Exhaling slowly, he whispered with a soft reverence, "Sydney." He took a beat, before swallowing the lump in his throat, "Thank god. You have no idea."

Hearing her gasp slightly, he suddenly took notice of how tightly he was holding her. Dear god, he practically assaulted her. But he had to know she was real. That she was here with him, and wasn't going to die or leave him any second. Loosening his grip quickly, he took a step back. He had been so scared, so devastated, a shock and pain he couldn't surpress even though he knew that she perfectly fine, at least physically, standing right in front of him. He inhaled deeply, shutting his eyes for a moment, and willing his very creased forehead to relax.

"Sorry. I was..." he trailed off, searching for the words. "I don't know." He finished. "Just promise me you will never, in a million years, do that again." His eyes found hers as he gripped her shoulder lightly, still convincing him that yes, she was there, she was real.
 
 
 
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 15th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Holy god. What a crazy past few days.

She had wanted to contact him so badly, and almost didn't do so when she had finally decided upon it. But she had to. She had to hear his voice, just once. That would've been more than enough.

Walking inside their 'home-away-from-home' self storage, Sydney inhaled deeply, closing her eyes, trying to calm herself just a bit before he showed up.

Nope. Didn't work too well, as she expected.

As soon as her eyes were able to see him, Sydney fought back the overpowering urge to just throw herself into his arms and cry in relief.

That soon passed, though, as she soon found herself being embraced tightly by him, his head buried into her neck.

Sydney. Thank you. You have no idea.

She didn't even have to say anything. All she did was also wrap her arms around him, both of them just standing there, holding each other.

After a few more seconds of silently wishing 'other' thoughts, Sydney became aware of the fact that she wasn't able to breathe that well because of how tightly Vaughn was holding her. She liked it, yes, but breathing in this type of situation was a must.

Quickly loosening his grip, he stepped back and she was finally able to look him straight in the eye.

Sorry. I was... I don't know. He paused, causing the look on her face to soften even more.

Just promise me you will never, in a million years, do that again.

His hand returned to holding her, this time on her shoulder.

Sydney smiled as soon as the words were spoken.

"I promise." she replied, moving closer to him.

"I was so scared Vaughn." She paused, trying to think of the right words to say.

A deep breath was inhaled before she continued. "Not because of the fact that I might've died, but that I wouldn't have ever seen you again."

Her eyes searched his..for anything. For any sign or emotion that she was hoping she'd find.

Sydney was pretty sure that he was aware of the growing shine in her eyes that she was trying so hard to hide. Also, the fact that her cheeks were probably the brightest color of red that they'd ever been before in her life.
vaughnincognito on April 15th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
He smiled, relieved when she promised. Sydney Bristow kept her word.

"Not because of the fact that I might've died, but that I wouldn't have ever seen you again."

Cue bombshell. Vaughn stood dumbfounded for a moment. What was a man supposed to say to that? He just remembered why his college girlfriend dumped him. Because he sucked at this kind of thing. God knew how he ever got a degree in French literature, when it came to matters of importance, language failed him. He couldn't out and say that he loved her, that he had fantasized about her since that fateful night in her apartment, their stolen moments carried him through the day, that he was ready to ravage her here and now, but none of those sentiments seemed appropriate, though they were all true. And all unnecessary, in his opinion.

He swallowed, his voice shaky, emotions dancing around in a maelstrom, "Syd, I-" love you. Say it, you idiot! And die? Make this harder than the excruciating torture it already is? Like hell. His thoguhts unvoiced, he continued, "I don't think we'd ever let that happen."

The silence hung heavily in the air, unspoken tensions palapable.

"What was it that you wanted to talk about again? Did you want to set up an appointment with Barnett for post-traumatic stress counseling?" Vaughn blathered. Trauma? She ate trauma for breakfast. "And you said something about your father..." he prompted, wondering what had upset her enough to call him when she should have been sleeping off the exhaustion of the last few days.
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 16th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC)
Syd, I..I don't think we'd ever let that happen.

Her face was cast downwards and her eyes were trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to break through.

Finally looking back up at him, she forced a smile, something she was all too good at.

What was it that you wanted to talk about again? Did you want to set up an appointment with Barnett for post-traumatic stress counseling? And you said something about your father...

She shook her head. "No no, I don't need that..I'm fine, really."

Smiling again, this time it being a real one, she spoke again, remembering his other question.

"Yeah. My father. Um.." she paused, still a little bit upset from the actual happening.

"Vaughn.. my mother might still be alive."

She said this, and knowing that he most likely wouldn't have anything to say to that, she continued.

"And I want to look for her. My 'father' is against this and we sort of got into an argument over it. He can't possibly understand why I would want to find her."

Looking down, she sniffed, almost crying, at the thought that her mother might still be alive. Even after knowing all that she's done, the need to know her mother was greater than anything she'd ever felt right now.

"And I have this memory of my father. I was maybe five-years-old. We were camping with my mother. I broke my leg. And he picked me up, and carried me miles back to the car. And I remember looking up at him and thinking he was the strongest man in the world."

Looking at him, a smile was almost creeping over her lips, but it didn't quite make it there.

"Seeing him there in the car, looking so damaged... I've never seen him like that. The idea that I want to find my mother... it actually scares him."

Her words echoed in the warehouse, the sound of their own breathing being the only thing they heard.
vaughnincognito on April 17th, 2007 01:36 am (UTC)
He saw her eyes glistening and was torn between restraining himself or trying to comfort her, or rather if she would even accept comfort. He wavered until she looked up with a smile, or at least a rather badly disguised attempt at it. But he knew better than to push. Lots of things were better left unsaid.

Vaughn silently resigned himself to more pain due to Syd's family drama. Why couldn't she just have parents that thought she was working some random safe deskjob for the government? A dead, notorious KGB agents and Jack Bristow, Vaughn was still getting over the shock of how decently Syd had turned out. More than decent, amazing beyond measure.

"Vaughn.. my mother might still be alive."

He gaped. And stared. And forrowed his brows as he tried to absorb this piece of information. It brought all of the memories of his father to the surface again. Irina Derevko, the woman that had murdered his father wasn't DEAD and in hell where she belonged? He gulped. Syd had some crazy hunches before, perhaps this was just another. It couldn't be. He couldn't handle it. The world couldn't handle Irina Derevko again.

"And I want to look for her. My 'father' is against this and we sort of got into an argument over it. He can't possibly understand why I would want to find her."

He was inclined to agree with Jack. Syd was being naive. She couldn't possibly expect this monster of a woman to become her mother, Laura Bristow, all over again. He buried his face in his hands and sighed. Looking for this woman was just inviting misery and pain.

He thought back to Jack's story. He couldn't even comprehend what it must be doing to him, his daughter wanting to find the woman who so brutally betrayed him, his love, their marriage, their country. He felt a deep pang of sympathy for the man whose stony facade he could usually barely abide, and usually only for Syd's sake.

"Well, I don't exactly have a neutral point of view on the subject of your mother, but your father's got a point." He said with a deep sigh, pleading with her with his eyes to let it drop. But he knew she wasn't going to, the stubborn streak that kept her going was now being turned to a direction he hated. The woman was a monster by any standards, the very thought of her making him want to vomit. He attempted to smooth out the tension from his face and forehead to no avail and stared at her. Her mother killed his father. She was a double agent. They could both die any day, as exhibited. No, telling her his sentiments would be good as signing a death wish, his stupidest mistake. They were handler and asset. That was it. He had to stop falling for her, stop loving her.

If only it were so easy.
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 17th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)
Sydney sighed. She knew exactly where this was going and at this point in time, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to deal with it.

Looking at him, seeing the pain hidden from her behind his eyes, she cringed inside. This must be so hard for him. Goddamnit. Why couldn't anything ever be easy?

Well, I don't exactly havea neutral point of view on the subject of your mother, but your father's got a point.

Sighing, she nodded.

"I know, and maybe I'm being reckless or selfish... or masochistic. But if my mother IS alive, then I just have to know that. Can you help me get everything the CIA's got on her?"

As soon as those words were spoken, she immediately regretted ever saying them. How could she just count on him, even if he was her handler, to help her with this. Something that he shouldn't ever have to even 'think' about.

Looking down, Sydney felt ashamed and unable to meet his eyes, a tear silently fell from her own.
vaughnincognito on April 18th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)
He smiled bitterly at the masochism comment. He figured they all had a self-destructive streak if they were still in the CIA. Well, if nothing else, he was glad that she was at least starting to grasp the reprecussions, if not fully comprehending, of Irina Derevko coming back.

"I know, and maybe I'm being reckless or selfish... or masochistic. But if my mother IS alive, then I just have to know that. Can you help me get everything the CIA's got on her?"

For once, Vaughn was glad that the CIA was extremely paranoid. Whatever he wanted to do in this case, he couldn't. "Actually, I can't. All information concerning her has been classified omega 17 by the FBI, including her connections to the Rambaldi prophecy."

However, the pleading tone in her voice coupled with her wet cheeks would not let him leave it at that. "Dozens of agents must be looking for her, maybe hundreds. And they're not going to let you be a part of the operation." Vaughn told her the frank truth, stopping himself from reaching out to her, it would just make things harder. He sighed deeply and turned away from her utterly crestfallen look for the moment, trying to compose himself, it was no use. He had to apologize no matter what.

"Sydney, I know you need help but this time..." He sighed and took a deep breath, his brows furrowing, "I just don't have it to give. I'm sorry." Sincerity poured out of his voice, laced with regret and what he hoped was finality.

"Please, Syd, don't cry. Syd, I'm-" He paused again, and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "You have no idea how sorry I am that all this stuff happens to you, but please, please, for me, let this go. I-" He took her hand silently, seeking out her eyes, "I don't want you to get hurt, and I think it's pretty much inevitable in all matters concerning her." He squeazed her hand gently.

{Ooc: Oh ick, sappy. *gag* I swear, if he doesn't be an asshole soon, I'm going to get cavities.}
sydney a. bristow: almukkaundercover_syd on April 24th, 2007 04:08 am (UTC)
Hearing the words before they were spoken, Sydney cast a look downwards, not knowing what to say. She always went to him when she needed to; this time it felt he was a convienance to her, and she didn't want that at all.

Looking up at him with her now glossy eyes, she tried so hard to smile through the pain and confusion she was feeling. Without succeeding, a single tear fell down her cheek, unable to withstand it anymore.

Please Syd, don't cry. Syd, I'm-You have no idea how sorry I am that all this stuff happens to you, but please, please, for me, let this go. I-I don't want you to get hurt, and I think it's pretty much inevitable in all matters concerning her.

More tears had fallen, but surprisingly, not for the same reason as before. His words had touched her, made her feel better inside, like there was something still worth fighting for.

"Vaughn..I-" She paused, searching for the right words to say. "You don't know how much that means to me. How much 'you' mean to me. I feel protected and safe when I'm around you. I love feeling it. And I never want it to go away. Promise me it won't go away."

She finished her sentence, feeling the sudden rush of heat invade her cheeks. Still looking at him, not really sure if he would actually respond to what she said, she suddenly became aware of a tingling feeling on the inside of her hand.

Finally smiling for the first time, she felt his hand around hers and returning the gesture, their eyes met in a heated gaze. For that one moment, nothing else in the world mattered. Not her mother. Not SD-6. Not anything. It was just them. And that's how she was silently wishing it would always stay.

((haha. mine was sappy too. i like it, though. so don't kill it yet. lol heh))
vaughnincognito on April 24th, 2007 10:39 pm (UTC)
{ooc: Ahhhh! I am drowning in the sap! :P}

You don't know how much that means to me. How much 'you' mean to me. I feel protected and safe when I'm around you. I love feeling it. And I never want it to go away. Promise me it won't go away.

Vaughn gulped, theirs was a relationship where everything she said was true, but left unsaid, an unwritten rule. Their eyes locked and time stood still for a moment as he absorbed her words. There was his proof if he ever really needed, she felt something for him. And if was chivalry or chauvanism, he had a thing with keeping her safe, hell, anyone safe. Children, women, friends, whatever. But that wasn't the way that he thanked Weiss for having his back on a mission, far from. And could he really promise her that when it was likely that it would eventually go away, as much as he would fight for it not to?

"Syd..." He looked down, a small grimace on his face. "don't push this where you know it can't go." He opened his mouth to elaborate, but shut it again.

What would he say? I love you, and I would keep you forever in my arms if I could? Hardly, aside from the absolute stupidity of the statement, that was also probably a sure way to scare her off. Her fiance had died less than a year ago. She was vulnerable, he couldn't take advantage of her now. He had seen what destruction Syd could bring when her trust was betrayed.

When she smiled softly through her tears, he blushed slightly. "It's late, and I have to be in early tomorrow morning."

With the pad of his thumb, he lightly grazed her cheeks, removing the remaining moisture. "I'll see you soon."

Determined not to look back, he shrugged into his jacket, and stepped out of their cage and leaned against his car, sighing deeply before driving home to catch a few hours of rest.

{ooc; Ugh. noah angst next. :P }
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 25th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
awww. me too haha.
where do you think we should go from here? me posting or you & where exactly.

♥ ttyl sweetie
vaughnincognito on April 25th, 2007 01:29 am (UTC)
UH, well, unless you have some weird desire to write Noah peanutbutterinmouth!sex and agnst, shall we just skip to the part after Noah is dead by Syd's hand and she's flipping out? And we can go agnst-central in retrospective thoughts.
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 25th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
hmm. lol okay. sounds good. i think we can skip it, it's not that important. :P

do you wanna post or should i? :D
vaughnincognito on April 25th, 2007 02:09 am (UTC)
Well, I think it's important to note in retrospect, as it does change the dynamic of their relationship in that Vaughn is finally jolted into realizing how much real competition he has.

Could you post? I'm kinda busy.
sydney a. bristowundercover_syd on April 25th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
okay. so maybe just a post about that one conversation they had when she tells him that they had dated before and stuff. :)

yeah, i can post. but it might not get up until tomorrow. =/